Sweet Nothings

I'm not sure why I thought it would be different this time.
I'm not sure why I still thought the time, that it mattered.
I'm not sure why I'm surprised, shocked, hurt....
this is how it is.
This is how friendship is played out,
this is how being alone becomes a prefered state.
I'm not sure why I thought you wouldn't let me down,
why I still think maybe it's just all my paranoid thought.

I really thought that I had completely given up on the human species. I did. I thought that my cynacism had reached a height that protected me from this kind of utter surprise at yet another person in my life tossing me to the wayside because some boy twinkled his eyes at her and told her she was the prettiest girl in the room. But it hit me square in the face, and I wasn't ready.